How You Remind Me
by Lina Inverse the Dramata
Summary: Yaoi!!! Ok there, I warned you. Severus returns home one night and finds his lover gone...


Notes: This goes to Nickelback's song, 'How You Remind Me', highlighted in Bold. I consider the song to be from Harry's point of view, being sung to Severus. Italics is the letter from Harry. It's Severus Snape and Harry Potter Slash. If this is not your cup of tea, you might wish to go to the coffee stand out in the hall. If you have recently experienced a break up... It's best you not read this. Because, although I wasn't wholly throwing myself into this story... It might still hit the wrong chord for some of you. So... Just thought I should warn you. I didn't base the story around the song because I believe that as readers, every now and then your mind needs exercising (mine needs therapy, I forget so much...) so use deduction and educated guessing to figure out how the song seems so much like the two... Cause the song basically explains their relationship and why what happened, happened. Anyway, Reviews are awful nice too. *Drops hint on you like fifty pound weight* NOOOW you're catching on.... There ya go.

PS: I don't own this! As if it took a genius to figure out I ain't a band member of Nickelback, or JK. But if I WERE either, I imagine I wouldn't be worrying about how I'm going to make it out alive of the twelfth grade... Or where my lost voting pamphlet went...

How You Remind Me

                Severus Snape, bane of all those who were not in Slytherin, or went by the name of Albus Dumbledore, walked into his small apartment in Hogsmeade. Married teachers generally had to live off Hogwarts ground. Or those with lovers who happened to be collegues.

                It was rather odd, Harry had finally given up trying to figure out why he had been such an utter git lately. So much so that Harry's words to him didn't go past the depth of, 'Pass the salt' or 'I paid the bills and owled them, stop worrying'.

                Snape had to admit, he was really treating the young man horridly, but he supposed it was that emotional defense mechanism he really couldn't control. Snape kicked off his shoes in the entrance way and looked up the stairs. For some reason, their apartment seemed a bit... Strange.

                Funny.... Harry had left for home hours before him. He couldn't have been at Rosmerta's because Severus had gone from Hogwarts by flu, to Rosmerta's fireplace. And it hadn't held his young lover anywhere.

                "Harry?" he called out in his usually snarly voice.

                He was almost concerned when he was answered with silence.

                Climbing to the top of the stairs of the entrance way he could see that there were no lights on. With the wave of his wand the chandelier and candles were lit and a fire roared to life.

                It was then he noticed many 'something's' that froze his heart in place.

**_Never made it as a wise man,_**

**_I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'_**

**_Tired of livin' like a blind man_**

**_I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling._**

                "Harry?" his voice cracked in the middle of Harry's name. Damn. He had been asking for this for nearly eight months now too.

**_This is how you remind me,_**

**_This is how you remind me of what I really am._**

                Severus dropped his bag onto the love couch and went directly to the bookshelf.

                Harry's only photo album was gone. Books on quidditch, curses and counter curses, and Hermione Granger's published books of the story of Harry's school boy days...

                Gone.

                The music box Remus had given Harry, that he himself had placed on the fireplace mantel was gone.

                Pictures on the wall, the few there were of himself and his lover, were now void of Harry. Any picture that would have reminded Severus of Harry or anythin to do with him, was gone. Funny... He hadn't accounted the horrible, sinking feeling when he had thought out this.

                It wasn't his fault he wanted Harry to have someone better... Younger... and who had the chance of living to old age with the young man....

                Without any true concious thought, he began wandering from room to room. Not too hard, there was only one room, a small study, a bathroom, kitchen, and the living/dining room, which he had all ready left.

                True to his assumption, Harry's belongings were gone. And the house that had been theirs for the few years....

                Suddenly felt as empty and lonely as he felt inside.

**_It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story_**

**_This time I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking.___**

****

                Severus gave up his futile search and went back to his barren room. A cold weight seemed to have settled firmly in his stomach. Sitting down on the queen sized bed, he stared at the lamp which was on, and trailed his eyes down to the base... Where there was a nicely folded peace of paper on it with the name, 'Severus', written in a tidy scrawl.

**_I've been wrong, I've been down, been to the bottom of every bottle._**

**_These five words in my head scream, 'Are we havin' fun yet?'_**

                He grabbed the letter and looked down to it, the glare of the light hitting the envelope, turning it a sick yellow briefly.

                Slowly, he opened the letter, he felt as if his fingers were made of led.

                When he opened it, he felt his throat tighten.

                _Dear luv Severus,_

_                                I don't know really what's gotten into you lately. You won't touch me anymore... So I suppose you lost interest in me physically... You won't talk to me, so you must have lost interest in me emotionally._

_                                You never said that you loved me..._

_                                So I must have been a toy._

_                                Funny that. Of all the people in the world I thought could hurt me, make me want to curl up and die... or even succeed in humiliating me like no other, I never would have thought that would be you._

_                                You successfully did whatever it is you set out to do, I suppose. You got whatever it was you wanted, and that was that._

**_It's not like you didn't know that,_**

**_I said I love you, and I swear I still do.___**

****

_                                I wish though... you had done... or said SOMETHING though, when I told you... You know. I know I shouldn't have said it now. Not because I didn't ... or DON'T still mean it... I do... But I shouldn't have said it because it must have given you that warning bell or something..._

_                                I can just picture it now what you must have been thinking the moment I said that I loved you...  'I have him now, let's rip out his heart and hand it back to him still beating'. _

_                                Was it really that terrible? I had a job, having to teach how to Fly on a Broomstick counts. You're right. Children can be VERY evil..._

_                                But I still wanted one... I guess that helped scare you off even if you weren't using me. 'Love' and 'Baby'... Get's people every time._

**_And it must have been so bad,_**

**_Cause livin' with me must have damn near killed you.___**

_                                I helped support us... I stood against my own... the ONLY people close to me that I could dare call them family... I stood by you when they were against us. That hurt like all hell... But I did it for you. Because I thought that in the end you'd be there to hold me... _

**_This is how you remind me of what I really am,_**

**_This is how you remind me of what I really am.___**

                                _Damn, I swore I wouldn't say anything to you about that either... That I wouldn't get all mushy, depressed, or sentimental... Gods I failed at that didn't I? Kinda like I failed at saving Sirius... Or catching that bloody Pettigrew..._

_                                Anyway, I've decided to do what you've been silently ordering me to since... Well, since eight months ago. I would have stayed... If only you would have done or said something... I know you never would apologize to me. It just isn't you. But this least you could do is tell me why. Like you used to do when you hurt me. At least you would explain why, and even though you weren't apologizing outright, that was how you apologized..._

**_It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story_**

**_This time I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking._**

**_I've been wrong, I've been down, been to the bottom of every bottle._**

**_These five words in my head scream, 'Are we havin' fun yet?'_**

_                                I really don't have much to say... I guess I'm thinking a lot now about what I was like when I was growing up... And going to school still... Wish something could have prepared me for this..._

_                'You are the only one,' Snape thought to himself._

**_Never made it as a wise man,_**

**_I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealin'._**

****

**_This is how you remind me..._**

**_This is how you remind me of what I really am.___**

****

_                                Like I said, I love you... still. Whatever's going on... Whatever reason you were like that to me... I forgive you. Even if you're not sorry... You taught me to grow up, and so many other things that helped me survive Voldemort... Well, I've got a train to catch._

_                                                                - Love your Harry_

_                Severus put the letter down and leaned back into the headboard of the bed. He felt even worse and more lonely then ever. He had thought that Harry would have been his usual stubborn, Gryffindor self, and would have fought for their relationship..._

                Severus had been hoping Harry would... In his own way. Severus wasn't one to say, 'I'm having doubts, I want to talk...', or, 'I need to talk'. He expressed fears and doubts in diferent manners and ways.__

_                Apparently... He had gone a step too far._

                And he hadn't the slightest idea where Harry was now. He really didn't.

                After a moment he just curled up into the middle of their bed, and pulled Harry's pillow close to his chest, hoping to catch even the faintest trace of Harry's scent on it.__

**_It's not like you to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story_**

**_This time I'm mistaken for handing you a heart worth breaking._**

**_I've been wrong, I've been down, been to the bottom of every bottle._**

**_These five words in my head scream, 'Are we havin' fun yet?'___**

_~*~_


End file.
